Strong Foundation

My dad owns his own real estate development company and has been building houses and businesses since he was in his twenties.  He is very successful, extremely hard working, and although he acts like a 5 year old, he has given me some of the best advice of my life.  Since he is a builder at heart he used this metaphor when I came to him for advice about how to stay strong when nothing else seems to be going right.  We were sitting in our front yard, it was mid-spring time and the grass was green, the sun was shining, and we had just finished mulching the yard together.  I had been having problems at school, my anxiety was at an all time high, and I needed his comfort.  "Dad, how do you stay so strong when all you want to do is cry?"  He looked at me and said, "You build a strong foundation."  At first I didn't understand but as I thought about it, it became clear.  One must stand by their morals, listen to their heart, and depend on their loved ones for support.  A building will crumble if the foundation isn't sturdy.

It has taken me YEARS to do my best at coping with my anxiety and my insecurities BUT I still struggle!  It is a daily battle but my dad was right; a strong foundation comes from within and it comes with time.  I can say with certainty and honesty that I would not be here today without the love and constant support from my family.  I have lost some friends along the way but I have met many more during this crazy journey; ones that accept me and my lifestyle.  It hasn't been easy and I'm sure I'll have more detours and bumps in the road but it's just that...a bump.  You will get through it.  I know that right now you feel as though there is NO hope, you have NO faith, and you want nothing more than to give up but each day is a new day.  If you are lucky enough to wake-up every morning, be thankful.  If you are lucky enough to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, be thankful.  It's the little things in life that mean the most.  

Here are a few things that have helped me become stronger/better:

1. Change your thinking.  This is by far the MOST important tip I could ever give someone.  It isn't always easy but it is a life changer.  A few months ago I was miserable, sullen, angry, depressed but after getting a MUCH needed kick in the ass from someone very close to me, I realized I needed to change my ways or I will look back at my life and think, "I wasted it."  The next time you don't want to go to work, be thankful you have a job.  When you don't want to go to the grocery store or meal prep, be happy you have enough money to buy food.  When you don't want to go to school or study, be happy you have the opportunity to get an education.  Change your thinking and you'll change your life, I guarantee.  

2. Talk.  Express yourself when you are unhappy, upset, angry etc.  No one can read your mind.  If you need help, ask for it.  If you want to vent, do it.  You'll feel much better after you do.  Keeping things bottled up is never good and usually results in a mental breakdown or a verbal explosion (or both)

3. Make goals/to-do lists.  Keep yourself busy and on-track by setting goals and making to-do lists.  I have a million things always going on in my head so I have to write them down on post-its and put them in places I'll see them.  Also, having goals like my bodybuilding competitions or dance recitals help keep me on track when I have those days when I'm feeling unmotivated.  

4. Stay focused.  It's easy to get off track or overwhelmed but if you stay consistent and work on the most important/vital things first you'll feel so much better.  I vow that I will never let "I gave up" to be a part of my vocabulary and you shouldn't either!

Life isn't always sunshine & rainbows.  Unexpected things happen, you make mistakes, you get hurt, and you sometimes get knocked down but in the end it's all about how you stood back up and kept going.  Foundations get cracks but if treated right and strengthened they will hold strong.  If I can do it, so can you!  xoxo