torinator fitness

don't get too BIG

This is probably one of my MOST favorite things a person can say to me...it just makes me so happy... I really hope you are picking up the sarcasm because I'm laying it on pretty damn thick. Last night I came home from work and had dinner with my mom, dad, and grandparents. For those of you who know me and my story I'm sure you've heard that my grandmother and I do NOT get a long so you can just imagine how thrilled I was to see her after a long day. Anyways, I have been trying to be on my "best behavior" for my mom's sake so during dinner I was pleasant, answered all her questions, listened when she spoke, and did my best not to punch her in the throat. My mom told me to show her my interview that I did a few weeks back with Aesthetics on Fire so I pulled up the website and clicked on my interview. The picture that I sent them to put on the website is one from my first figure show. She had never seen that picture before so she was surprised at how muscular I looked (even though I still think I'm tiny) and she actually gave me a compliment! What?! She actually said something nice to me! I think hell froze over after she said it but any who I said thank you but then followed it up with, "I still have a lot of work to do. I want to be more muscular." "You want to be moreeeee muscular?" She looked like I spit on her or something. "Yes" I replied. Uhh yeahhh Nannie I said I want to be more muscular (didn't actually say that but I sure did want to). Well apparently she didn't like that answer and she replied with my favorite response ever, "Just don't get too big, okay? You're a very pretty girl and no one finds big muscles attractive. Too manly." Okay, I get it. Not everyone finds big muscles attractive and not everyone wants to look like I do but DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT tell me what I can/should look like! I spent years believing that being sickly skinny was what I should look like and now I will never go back. I love muscles. I love lifting heavy weight. I love pushing myself physically and mentally. So sue me for wanting to become stronger and more muscular. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be, that's why I strive for greatness; that's why I will never settle.

My lifestyle is just that, mine. I'm following my passion and I feel like I finally found what I was meant to do. I believe I was meant to become a bodybuilder, I was meant to become a gym rat, and I was meant to become a personal trainer. I would NEVER EVER belittle someone's dream or tell someone how they should look, act, or talk. You have to do what feels right for you; you have to listen to your heart. I tried fitting into the molds of society but guess what, those standards and molds are bullshit. "Women aren't supposed to lift weights because it will make them manly. It will cause them to loose their femininity and sexuality and they will no longer be attractive..." Does this girl look manly to you?! This is Amanda Latona, a 9 time IFBB professional bikini champion and BSN sponsored athlete. She curls, benches, squats, and lifts 7 days a week...look at how toned and defined she is! Look at those curves and dat booty! If this is manly then y'all need your eyes checked!

I wish no one said this or believed this but then I would be lying. I've been told "don't get too big" by about 15 people. It's sad that they don't realize just how hard it is to put on just 5lbs of solid muscle. It takes a very long time to sculpt the human body so everyone just needs to calm down. I also have never felt more feminine or more intune with my sexuality than I do now. Lifting weights has given me confidence and has helped me face some of my biggest fears. It has helped me embrace the idea of "beauty in strength" and accept myself, flaws and all.

I'm not saying I want to look "manly" or want to have quads the size of tree trunks but I do and will be more muscular. I want to be strong, healthy, and fit and I'm going to to do it whether people accept that or not because that's what makes me happy. It's taken me a long time to stand up for myself and to change my unhealthy views about my body and food so the next time someone tells me "don't get too big" I may just wind up and let em have it! Saying "don't get too big" would be like telling someone "don't get too fat" after they have ONE cookie. It's mean and unnecessary. People are going to do whatever they want to do whether their friends, family, or complete strangers agree with it or accept it. My dad has always said "basic personalities never change," and I have always been a little bit of a rebel. I've always pushed the boundaries and tested the limits. I have always been a little bit of a rebel so why would I change now? I was the kid who wore polka dotted rain boots, striped tights, and tie dye t shirts. I never cared about what people thought about me until I got into 7th grade so now I'm just getting back to my roots. Watch out world cause here I come, tree trunk quads and all ; ) Do what makes you happy and lift on!

Here are a few of my role models enjoy what strong, independent, and sexy as hell looks like!