Follow Your Heart

I know my lifestyle isn't for everyone.  I know that there will be a lot of people that will not like my dedication to the gym or my clean eating habits or my desire to push beyond my limits.  I'm not asking that everyone accepts it or has the desire to follow me on my fitness journey but, I do deserve the same respect everyone else gets, right?  I don't know if it's the way I was brought up or my sincere compassion I have for people but, even when I don't agree or like something, whether it be a picture, a comment, a movie, or a book I would never be little someone's work or say cruel things just to "get a rise" out of them.  I was taught from a very young age that if I didn't have anything nice to say then I should keep my mouth shut.  In fact my sister and I used to yell this to one another after one of us said something mean to the other one.  Both my parents are extremely kind people and would do anything for anyone, until you cross them.  However, I too have adopted this view and never say hurtful things to people because I know how it feels.  

I think we have all been victims of bullying, big or small, but whether it was just a glare across the room, a blatant shove in the hallway, or a terrible rumor spread about you, it all hurts just the same.  I too have been bullied, I too have been called names, and I too know the taste of tears all too well.  Before I embarked on this journey towards better health I was miserable.  I cried on an hourly basis, I fought with my parents, I ruined friendships because of my selfishness and stubborn ways.  I was bitter, tired, and empty inside.  I found no joy in life but the one thing I was good at was faking my happiness and being mean to myself.  I used to grab the skin on my thighs and squeeze until I left little nail indentations.  I used to set my alarm at all hours of the night to sneak out to go running or do crunches in my room. I used to cut myself and I never allowed myself to eat until I was satisfied.  I avoided cameras and hated to wear fitted clothing.  I used to make up excuses when my friends asked me to go out to lunch or dinner.  Not only did I put my healthy in jeopardy, rack up some serious medical bills, and cause pain to those around me, but I spent years self-sabotaging myself.  I wasn't sure if I would ever get better, I wasn't sure if I would be able to ignore those little voices in my head, but I sure as hell was going to try!

It's been almost a year since I started training for bodybuilding competitions and about a year and a half since I threw away food, dumped drinks down the sink, skipped meals, or weighed myself on a daily basis.  So back to my point about deserving the right to share my story or post pictures or motivational quotes...I not only deserve that right but I have that right.  I'm not sorry for choosing my lifestyle and I'm not sorry for wanting to better myself.  I don't ever ridicule people for going out and drinking or eating fast food because people have that right; it's their choice.  Just because I chose a different path, one that is less traveled, doesn't give people the "right" or privilege to judge me.  I've worked very hard to get where I am and although I am no where near where I want to be I know I'll get there.  I was tired of hating myself, I was tired of plotting how I was going to burn off calories, or how I was going to make my food "disappear."  I was tired of being tired all the time and I was tired of listening to those cruel voices in my head telling me over and over how pathetic I was, how fat I was, how disgusting I was.  So instead of following that same self-destructive path I made a change.  I also made a vow to help as many people as I possibly can!  I know this may be a cliche but I truly, from the bottom of my heart, want to help people because it makes me blissfully and eternally happy.  I finally found my calling in life and I will do whatever it takes to get there.  

I have been told that I will never make it, that I will never be a famous fitness model, that I will never get my pro card.  I have been told that my fitness posts and blogs are "annoying" and no one wants to be reminded of that everyday.  I'm not trying to convert everyone to my bodybuilder mold nor am I trying to make people feel bad; in fact, I'm trying to do the exact opposite!  I'm trying to inspire people and help people and prove to people that if I can do it than anyone can!  I'm trying to make a difference.  The moral of this post is to do what makes YOU happy even if it's not everyone else's cup of tea.  Don't be ashamed of your progress or your past because that's what makes you who are; the good and the bad.  So to all the "haters" out there keep on hatin because you aren't going to stop me.  In fact, you fuel my fire to come back bigger, stronger, and better than ever.  Challenge accepted and guess what?!  I'm gonna LIFT ON! 

BEFORE

AFTER

GLUTES & HAMMIE TIME

Larissa Reis

Some people hate doing legs and others love it!  I'm one of the people that actually likes doing legs (for the most part).  I previously stated that I split my legs into two sections:
1. quads 2. hamstrings and glutes.  I'm trying to build my legs so they look like thisssss 

I know this look isn't for everyone and some people may even want to comment below and say things like "eww gross" or "she looks like a man" or my personal favorite "Tori please don't get that big."  But save your little fingers the extra effort andddd DON'T please and thank you : ) Everyone has their own vision of what they want to look like so please don't rain on my parade!  Anywho, enough of the blabbing and here's one of my favorite glute & hammie workouts!  Enjoy!

Warm up

3x16 one leg heel pushes on bench

-one set is doing both legs so do your right leg 16 times then your left leg 16 times and that counts as ONE set

-no rest 

SUPERSET

Straight leg dead lift

3x16

-using a weighted bar or dumb bells (whatever you prefer) stand with feet HIP width apart with the DB or bar in front of you

-next slowly lower your UPPER body with the bar/DB in hands until the bar is about halfway down your shin 

-keeping your core tight come back up to your starting position and squeeze dat booty

**concentrate on your hamstrings and allowing them to stretch all the way and then engage your glutes**

One leg push-downs

3x12

-using an assisted pull-up machine set the weight to whatever you feel comfortable with (should be heavy enough to engage your glutes and hamstrings though!) I used 90 pounds but everyone will be different

-place one foot on the pad and one foot on the peg

-hold on to the pull-up bars

-now push the pad all the way down with just a slight bend to the knee and then slowly allow your foot to bring the pad back up

-do 12 reps on right leg then 12 reps on left leg that counts as ONE set

SUPERSET

Front & reverse lunges
3x12 or 3x24 

-this exercise is mostly about the form of your lunge and your balance so if you aren't great with balancing I would stick with a lighter weight or no weight at all to start

-you can use either a weighted bar across your back OR dumb bells

-stand with feet together and pick which leg is going to go first (I always do my right first) so I would lunge out with my right leg bring it back in and then step backwards into a reverse lunge. -one rep is equivalent to doing BOTH the front and reverse lunge! So I count to 24 on one leg then switch to my other leg

Cable hip thrust
3x12
-this one is a little tricky to explain but I'll do my best!
-using handles or a tricep push down rope go to the free standing cables at your gym
-hook the handles onto cable
-select a weight that will be heavy enough to hold you into place without falling on your face...I used 80 pounds
-stand with your back to the cable, spread your legs (get your mind out of the gutter) and grab onto the handles that are between your legs
-walk yourself out a little bit so it feels like the handles are trying to pull you backwards
-still reaching through your legs you are going to pull the handles towards you and squeeze your glutes like there's no tomorrow! FEEL THE BURN
-slowly let the handles go back through your legs
-repeat

SUPERSET

Smith machine butt-lifts
-this exercise was previously listed in my QUADZILLA leg workout but I'll give a brief description right meow
-you will need a pad to protect your knees and maybe something to bite on cause these babies are a killer
-I would suggest going lighter for this until you have the control and booty strength so start with maybe 5 pounds on each side
-get down on the mat, hands and knees, and lift one leg up to place UNDER the bar
-using that leg ONLY push the bar all the way up and squeeze your booty
-lower to starting position SLOWLY
-repeat 10-12 times then switch legs

Kickbacks on bench
3x10-12
-you'll need a bench and two ankle straps to hook into a free standing cable machine (like the one for the cable hip thrust)
-strap an ankle strap on each leg and get a flat bench
-place the bench next to the hook on the cable
-hook one ankle to the cable
-place other knee on the bench
-use the same arm as the knee that's on the bench to stabilize yourself and engage your core
-the leg that's hooked into the ankle strap is the leg you are using. you're going to kick that leg back into extension and squeeze!
-do 10-12 sets on one leg then switch

**use a weight that has enough resistance to it to make your booty burn but not enough to hurt your low back! remember proper form is more important and more effective than heavy weight**

SUPERSET

Hamstring curl
3x12
-you can chose which machine you would like to use for hamstrings; standing one leg, laying down, or seated.  personally I prefer the standing one leg or the laying down hamstring curl
-if you're using the seated hamstring machine or the lying down machine you should use at least 30 pounds; for the standing machine you'll probably have to go a little lighter since you don't have both legs working together
-now curl those little hammies!!

Yoga ball hamstring curls
3x16-20
-you'll need a yoga ball and a mat or a padded area to do these
-lay on your back with your calves resting on the top of the yoga ball
-raise your hips and low back off the floor so you're balancing on the ball with just your calves. use your arms by your side and your upper back ALONG with your core to stabilize you
-roll in the ball in toward your butt and then back out
-repeat 16-20 times for a higher rep/burn out set

WARNING! Your legs will be sore and they may cramp so after you finish I highly suggest drinking lots of water, foam rolling, and lightly stretching! I hope you enjoy this booty and hammie killer! Lift on y'all : )

P.S. if you want to really torture yourself you can do 15-20 mins on the stair master alternating between skipping steps, kickbacks, and sprints : )

P.S.S. If you need ANY clarification on any of these exercises please feel free to email me or facebook message me! tmbacheller@yahoo.com  For some reason I can't see when you guys comment on here so if you have and I haven't answered I'm SO sorry I'm still trying to figure everything out.  Thanks for your patience and for following my blog : )

Love Yourself

Body acceptance is a very difficult challenge for a lot of us.  We always criticize what we see in the mirror, never satisfied with the reflection staring back at us.  I spent years hating my body.  I used to stare at myself in the mirror before I took a shower at night and tear myself apart.  I never felt comfortable in my own skin.  I was constantly comparing myself to others.  I thought the only way to accept my body and feel confident was to fit the standards of beauty.  I thought that if I squeezed myself into a pair of zero jeans then I would FINALLY be confident enough to wear a bikini in public; then I would finally feel good enough.  The funny thing is, no matter how much weight I lost, no matter what size jeans I wore, and no matter how many people told me I was too skinny...I never once loved my body.  There was always something else that I needed to fix; another flaw that was taunting me in the mirror.  What I've come to realize is it doesn't matter what number the scale says or what size jeans you wear; what matters is your outlook and learning to silence those negative voices in your head.  It's taken me 8 years, 5 treatments centers, 22 pounds, and buckets of tears to finally realize I am beautiful just the way I am and guess what?  So are YOU.

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I LOVEEEEE my body now and I never have bad body image days because that is bullpoop!  Of course I do but the difference now is that I know how to tell those negative voices to STFU!  I'm still uncomfortable in shorts and I still have days where I wish it was acceptable to wear moo moos in public (it will never be acceptable) but I am much happier now than I was when I weighed 89 pounds and was a double zero. 

 This bulking season has been challenging both physically and mentally.  At first I was terrified to eat more and I didn't want to follow my meal plan because that went against everything I had been doing before!  I kept telling my coach that I just wanted to be jacked, shredded, and lean and she looked at me and said "how do you think you're going to get bigger muscles if you don't fuel your body?  I want you to stop viewing food as bad and start viewing it as necessary fuel."  She was right.  Food isn't the enemy!  Food is good and damn is it tasty! (get in my belly).  I kept showing her pictures of Michelle Davis, Melody Decena Wyatt, Dana Linn Bailey, and Ashley Hoffmann with their shredded abs and killer quads and she pointed out to me that being competition ready year round isn't healthy!  We cut calories, eat very little carbs, and a lot of times deplete our water intake to look that shredded and vascular.  I've realized that I need to start accepting my body at every stage; the bulking, the leaning out, and the "stage ready" look because my body is MINE!  I need to accept that I'm not going to be jacked little Tori all the time, especially when I want to get stronger and gain more muscle mass.  I'm starting to realize that fluffy Tori is just as good : ) 

To finish off my ramble I just want to touch on a few quick but VERY important topics: 

1. Patience!  I am the worst offender when it comes to being patient with my body but it's the only way to tell if what we are doing is working right?!  I've heard a lot of people say things like "I'm not seeing results and I've been exercises for two weeks..."  Well there's your problem!  You will see results but it takes a while to get there! 

2. Be kind to yourself!  My mom said this to me one day and it's stayed with me ever since.  It was when I was in the midst of a downward spiral and I was refusing to eat.  She was trying to encourage me and I just sat there sullenly looking down at my hands.  She said "You are the most compassionate and caring person I have ever met so I don't understand how you can be this mean to yourself.  Would you be this mean to one of your friends?"  I was taken back, of course I would never ridicule one of my friends or make them inferior just because of their body.  So even though you may get frustrated with yourself and your body, always remember that you only have ONE so take care of it!  

3. There is more to beauty than looks!  I don't care how hot you are, how big your biceps are, or how bootylicious your butt is if you're mean, rude, or insensitive then I am NOT going to give you the time of day because like TLC says.."I don't want no scrub."  People may admire your six pack and drool over your quads or leave comments on your back picture like "damn baby got back" but if you're a straight up mean person no one is going to want to put up with that shizzz!  Let's think about it, how many people say things like "she had such a hot body" at a funeral....pretty sure no one.  People remember others for how they treated them and how they made them feel not how much they could bench press.  So moral of the story be nice!  

I know it may be hard at times to tell those negative voices to shut up but I promise they aren't worth your time.  You are more than a number on the scale, you are more than a pant size.  You are unique and perfect in your own weird little way so embrace it!  There is only one you so do it up!  I hope this helps you in your journey towards better health : ) LIFT ON!