Anxiety
Anxiety is defined as, “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease,
typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” This is a basic definition and to be honest
it does nothing to describe the mental, emotional and physical side
effects. Everyone has anxiety, everyone
worries, but we all deal with it differently.
Some people can take a few deep breaths and calm themselves down, other
people need to talk or journal so they can get those toxic thoughts out, and
others need more help than that. Ever
since I was a kid I have dealt with anxiety and depression. It started when I was very young and it has
continued throughout the years. I worry
about different things but I’ve come to the realization that all of my anxiety
is caused by one thing…my lack of self-confidence.
My anxiety is kind of like a chameleon, it morphs into
something new but the root is the same.
Everything I worry about is all caused by my lack of self-love and
self-confidence. I worry constantly
about not being good enough and not being liked or respected. I worry about what people think and how they
view me. I have panic attacks of being a
failure and of not making others proud.
It takes me forever to fall asleep at night because my mind is busy
working over time thinking about all the things I still haven’t accomplished,
all the things I want to do. I spend so
much time worrying about if other people like me and not enough time on me
liking me.
These past few weeks have been hard. I haven’t been able to sleep, my appetite has
been all over the place, and I’ve been having panic attacks. It felt like I was starting to fall back into
old patterns. I was having negative thoughts
and my thinking was not healthy. It felt
like I was falling down the rabbit hole again.
The only good thing about having anxiety (sometimes) is you have some
time to reflect and to think. And here
is what I came up with…
1. I know that I am a work in progress and that it takes
time to make changes to my mind and my body so when I say this, I mean it, I’m
in no rush. I’m enjoying this process of
becoming the young woman I’m supposed to be.
I have flaws, imperfections, and silly quirks but it’s time I start
accepting them and stop running from them.
2. We all make mistakes, usually on a regular basis, but it’s
okay! The only thing you can do is TRY
YOUR BEST! I’m trying really really hard
to remember that and get it through my stubborn, thick skull but I’m working on
it.
3. Be thankful for the little moments, the little wins. Not everything is going to go your way but
you can always control your thinking.
I know this is all easier said than done. I know it’s not going to happen overnight and
I know you’ll have mess ups, melt downs, and bad days but I also know that you
can do this. I can do this. I can overcome anxiety and I can control my
thoughts. It just takes the first step…trying. Stay strong
xo me
